I hate this!!

I haven't had friends over tomy house in ages because it is soo messy! My mom doesn't really help and neither does the rest of my family. My sister is the worst. The makes it worst. But I get yelled at because I "don't pick up"! Yes I do! I pick up more than anyone! GAH!!

~E-Angel

Vows..

I vow never to try being outgoing again. I got H and J mad at me today and Gods know who else.

I vow to be go back to being a book-absorbed wall flower.

*sigh*
~E-Angel

What if....

What if I'm not destined to be famous? What if my ocupation will be mother, not actress or singer? It certainly seems that way! I think my friends were in pain when I was singing today. And of of my bffs is going to a recording studio and didn't invite me. She and C are going!

What if I'm not meant to be an outgoing person? I have tried to become one and I don't like it. I just hurt people...

What if I'm not meant to live this life? What if the reason that I can't see my future is because I don't have one?

What if I never find true love? I'm tired of reading all of these love stories and pretending I'm fine! I want to be someone's Bella or someone's Ever! But looks like I'm destined to be "that weird kid" or "the shy girl".

What if my brain wasn't skrewed up? What then?? Would I be popular?? Would I be a bitch?? A slut?? A Bella?? Is it because I'm the class weirdo that I will never be the girl in the romance novel?

~E-Angel

I am a completly horrible person!!

My friends "R" dated this guy last year and she still kinda likes him. You know the unspoken rule. You can't date/like your friend's ex w/o their permission. I have sat with him in science for the past moth or two and I realized I kinda like him. At the same time I kinda have a smalish crush on two other guys!!
And as if my life couldn't get skrewy enough I am depressed agian. I have Green Day cranked up really loud on my PC and am crying inside. gah! Why does my life have to be so fucking messed up?? (pardon my language!)
~E-Angel

Sad News....

I am really sad. My best guy friend's mom has cancer..again. "Ms. D" was just in the hospital for colin cancer. They removed the cancer and she got out without haing to do chemo. Now she is back in the hospital with thyroid cancer!! The thing is...people don't normally survive thyroid cancer. The doctors say they think they can remove it...but still....I feel horrible. She was like my second mum. Her daughter was like a less annoying little sister and her son is my best guy friend. I don't know what I will do if...
~E-Angel

Answers...

Here are some of the answrs to some of the questions i asked yesterday...

"who is "j"? xDwho'd he call hispanic trash?

because once you see a guy, you're like obsessed with him to the point where we get tired of hearing
his name. then when someone else finds out, instead of acting all embarassed, you (in essence i guess) go up to him and say OMG DO YOU LIKE ME CUZ I LIKE YOU AND I REAAAAAAAAAAALLY WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU CUZ YOU'RE JUST SO AWESOME.

you asked.

E and A did what you would do if you were in their situation. plus when the dude hears the final copy, he'll say automatically no. believe me. xD

whatever cellulite is, you shouldn't care. you're just used to being superskinny from your stomach problem. you're fine. "

"J" is a kid that I haven't spoken to in years. End of story.

Thankz for telling me the truth *hugz*

Cellulite is body fat. I have too much!

"I wish you could have come and at least TRIED to control them. I'm really starting to not like either of them.I just wanna punch erin in the face. marissa too. but if i had a choice, i would punch erin first."

I with I could have been there too.

For all ya'll guys out there I asked Leah today if Erin hates me. Leah said that Erin thinks that I am a crazy werido so she hates me. Marissa agrees with everything Erin does when they are together. So even though Marissa and I are BFF's she hates me when they hang out. So they didn't invite me cuz they hate me.

Just for the record they made Leah pay for all the clothes they made her get! That is assinine! It is like $20 a shirt!!

~E-Angel

Left Out!?

Leah is a tom-boy and Me, Er, and MS wanted to give her a makeover. Well apparently they went without me today. They went to Forever 21 and did her makeup. It sounds like they had a lot of fun and I wish they had invited me. I'm 95% sure that i was the one that suggusted the whole makeover thing in the first place! *sigh* oh well...I mean I knew Erin and I wern't the best of friends....but MS and Leah! I 'm wondering why thy didn't call.

~E-Angel

Gah!!

Hey!! Sowwy I haven't posted in a while. I have had a shit load of homework all week. I guess the teachers are making up for the fact that we had state tests next week. *sigh* Well it made me all stressed out and crabby. And I was up so late doing homework that by the end of the school day I couldn't remember my name! Well a few things have been going on since I last posted.

• My friend and I decided that we want to do a duet for the talent show (if we have one at all this year). We can't actually agree on a song though. xD
• My dad flew to North Carolina for his work. They lost his luggage so that means he has to buy a whole bunch of new suits and stuff. They also lost his thousand doller camera. (the one time he decides to take it right?!) I feel really bad about it too because I had just heard my dad talking about how we have vurtually no savings. And I just got new clothes so it is my fault. Ug!!
• The kid H that I told you about. Remember, the one that screamed that question across the gym. Well no I sit across from him. It actually isn't that bad though. he is really funny and I had forgotten how blue his eyes were. Ok. That sounded really weird. xD I'm not in love with him. It was just a startling realization. The first thing he said was "oh you were in my third grade class weren't you? You were obssessed with "J" then. I mean it wasn't even a normal crush!!" I was like Omigosh! xD
• Quiznoz got busted!! *squeals* It was sooo hilarious. He called this kid like hispanic trash or something like that. So the kid got really mad and started yelling at him. He was all "Your rasict man and perverted!" xD So my teacher moved him to a different table! But it was just for that day :(
• B (the kid I used to like) and one of my semi-friends are going out. He asked her! I was kinda bummed but then I realized "Who needs guys anyways??"
• I am still waiting for my friends to enlighten my on why I "try to hard" and why I come off as "desperate". I would like to know people! It isn't going to break my heart if you tell me! At least I am not a slut like some of the girls at my school...
• Oh yeah. Speaking of slutty girls E and A and their little group of popular friends may get a recording contract!! All they did was re-write the lyrics to Katy Pery's I kissed a girl! Common people! That isn't real talent! A two year old could do that. Seriously! If you want reall talent look at me or leah or M!
• I need to break it to my mom that I can't drink Boost anymore. I found out that It makes you gain weight! I need to lose weight if I am going to become a model! But I don't know how to say that without sounding anorexic....hmmmm
• Speaking of being a model, I don't like my legs. They are getting heaps of cellulite! I need intense lipo or something!

Well I'm getting really tired so I will catch up on my Z's now. Night!

~E-Angel

Soccer Face-Off!!

Ok. There is this kid that sits across from me in art. He is perverted and retarded and bugs the hell outta me! I will call him Quiznoz. I said something weird and he replied something like "I could easily beat you up" and I was like "Yeah right". Then I was like "I could totally beat you at soccer!" and he said "suuuure...I bet you suck!" So I said "well my bff Marissa could beat you up" and he said "why is she like a man???" And I said "no but she is stronger than you!" and he is like "naw. she is probably some scrawny lil white chick"
So today Marissa, Leah, and I are gunna practice our soccer skillz at the park! xD
I am going to chalenge him to a soccer face-off on monday after school. I can't wait to see the expression on his face when he realized that Marissa could so beat him into the dirt! xD

~E-Angel